discipline

Discipline

It’s not a bad word… just, maybe, a misunderstood word…and thankfully it’s longer than four letters.  At least, I think, most people feel that way about discipline.  Like it’s something to be reached for, but never achieved.  It’s something that only a select few are blessed with!  Or we just get confused and think of discipline strictly in the punitive sense as in punishment for wrong doing.  Discipline simply defined is staying within the rules or boundaries.

It’s funny, for the most part, we know what we need to do (we understand the “rules”).  We know that if we eat right, exercise more, spend time with our families and friends, and get plenty of rest, we will be healthier, have less stress, and be more productive.  So if we know WHAT to do then WHY don’t we do it?

Typically we lack personal discipline, plain and simple.  We quickly forget the “positive feeling” of the results of being disciplined, but long remember the pain of failure!  (The paradox here is that the pain of failure should be a great reminder, a great teacher helping us to remember why we should stay disciplined.)  And here’s the kicker, when we “fail” in our discipline, we feel terrible, and then we start that spiral downward that makes regaining it (discipline) even more difficult.  We’ve talked a lot on failure in a previous blog.  Be sure to check that out the blog that talks about failure (Competition).

So, back to discipline; why is it so hard?  It’s simple actually; discipline is the opposite of the path of least resistance.  It really is more like the path of greatest persistence.

Step 1:  STOP, STOP, STOP saying that you have no willpower.  As long as you say it, think it, believe it, YOU WILL BE RIGHT!  Start telling yourself that you are disciplined and organized, and that you CAN!  We can all accomplish GREAT things when we first believe that we can!!

Step 2:  Set a SMART goal.  We’ve talked about Goal Getting (LINK here), and how to set SMART goals.  Goals: Specific, Motivational, Achievable, Realistic, and Trackable.  Be sure to check out the “goal getting” blog if you haven’t.   It’s really important to remember that discipline is integral to getting through failure on our way to “goal getting”.

Just last week, I asked a class of children what a New Year’s Resolution is.  One of the kids (age 11) said that a New Year’s Resolution is  a list of things that you want to do, that you know you should be doing but aren’t.  Wow!  Kids really are so sharp!  He hit it right on the nose.

Step 3:  Make staying on track easier.  Make the wrong path harder.  So, how do we overcome our lack of discipline?  First, what is it you are trying to achieve?  Are you wanting to change your habit of plopping in front of the TV for mindless hours (which oftentimes includes overeating in the form of mindless snacking), into a positive habit of reading?  Hide the remote.  Not literally, but make it difficult to get to.  Put it in a box, in another room.  Then, in its place, put a book or two that you’ve always wanted to read.  Then, move any end tables that could be a perfect spot for a giant bowl of popcorn AWAY.  In a way here you are setting up the “path of least resistance” in your favor!  It’s easier now to grab book than go get the remote!

What if your goal is spending more time with your family?  Back to the Goal Getting blog, make this more specific.  An alternate goal might be that you will have lunch with your spouse once a week, and on an alternate day, you will have lunch with one of your kids at their school (I would recommend that you bring your own food.  Your child will think it’s VERY cool to have lunch from somewhere else, and you won’t blow your “eat clean” goals, by eating cafeteria food.)

Another common goal (75% of New Year’s Resolutions have to do with it), is associated with weight loss and exercise.  I’ve heard all kinds of great (and even funny) tips, from the alarm clock that jumps off of the table and hops around the room (seriously), to sleeping in your workout clothes!  Discipline is about finding the SWITCH that will help you get off of the path of least resistance (and out from under those warm covers), and stick to your goals.

When you have even the smallest success sticking to an area of discipline, an awesome thing happens.  You become proud of yourself, and you guessed it, your confidence in yourself grows!  Then you start a positive cycle of, in the words of Walt Disney, “sticktoitiveness”.

For further reading, we recommend Switch by Chip & Dan Heat.

goal-getting

Goal Getting:  Not Goal Setting

So you’ve taken that first step; you’ve set some New Year’s resolutions (goals).   You’ve even gone one step farther…you’ve actually written them down!  Good for you!  One of the most important parts of reaching a goal is writing it down.  The actual act of physically writing down your goals (in a journal, log book, whatever), is very powerful.  It’s like signing your name on the dotted line.  It’s like saying “I’m doing this!”  Next, plaster them everywhere!!!!  So you are reminded REGULARLY of what you are aiming at.

So, what is a goal?  A DREAM with a DEADLINE!

In Jim Collins’ book, Good to Great, he talks about setting BHAG’s, Big Hairy Audacious Goals.  You may have heard the quote about reaching for the stars, and how if you fall short, you’ll at least reach the moon.  Michelangelo sums it up quite well in saying, “the greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” -Thomas Jefferson

If you’ve set goals, you have begun with a great attitude toward achieving them.  Now do you have the attitude to persevere and reach them?  It is estimated that after about 2 months, most people have given up on those resolutions.  We came across this awesome acronym recently to help you stick to those goals and truly GET your GOALS!

Set S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Specific:

Make your goals Specific.  If you’ve said “I want to spend more time with my family”, that is not specific enough.  Rethink this.  Look at a way that you can be more specific.  Instead of keeping it open, and thus more apt to fall through, set a specific goal more like this:  “I will leave work ON TIME every day, and we will have dinner together every night (without the TV blaring in the background).”  Or, “I will read to my children each night before bed.”  Do you see the difference?  Setting specific actions help you to make a plan, and stick to it.

Another aspect of specific goals is dating and timing them.  If you are on a weight loss mission (like approximately 75% of those who set New Year’s resolutions), to be successful, you need to set specific deadlines (remember, a goal is a dream with a DEADLINE).  Now, you want to set a realistic deadline (more on that in a bit), but having a goal of “I am going to eat healthy, exercise daily, and lose 1 pound a week for the next 6 months.” is way more specific than “I want to lose weight and get in shape.”

Motivational:

What is motivating you?  What is your “why”?  If you have set some financial goals that are specific, what is motivating you?  You may say something like “getting out of debt.”  But, saying something more specific like, “we are going to pay off our credit cards by paying $100 over the minimum payment each month.  And we are going to save $100 a month toward a family vacation at the end of the year!”  Now that sounds motivating and might be just what you need find that motivation to stick to your plan!

Attainable and Realistic:

I have to admit, my martial arts mindset of, ”I can do / learn anything given enough time and effort” kicks in on these two.  I want to tell myself that “I can do anything”, but when I am absolutely honest with myself, I realize that the likelihood of me becoming a concert pianist by the end of the year, when I am over 40, and can barely play “Mary Had a Little Lamb”, is pretty unrealistic (getting in at least 10,000 hours–the amount of time required to reach the level of mastery– of piano practice in a year…woooo!!).  Setting attainable, realistic goals leads to the final aspect.

Trackable:

When a goal is specific, motivational, attainable, and realistic, I can track it!  I can write down my accomplishments, and TRACK my progress.  When you track your goals, that tracking of progress creates “traction.”  And, Dave Ramsey says TRACTION is one thing that creates excitement toward the goal.  What does that excitement create?  Well, ideally even more motivation (passion) to stick with it.

Finally, we found some great tips from Success Magazine to help you along your journey of Goal Getting.

• Tell someone. Talking about your goal—even if it seems huge and impossible—allows others to encourage and help you by providing resources and information you may need.
• Team up. Even if you don’t share the same goal, having a “success buddy” can keep you accountable. Meet weekly (in person or by phone) to check in on and encourage each other.
• Celebrate your successes. Every time you reach a milestone, acknowledge your accomplishments in a positive way. For example, if you drop a dress size, buy a new outfit. If you pick up a new client, have dinner with a mentor. Celebrating your success will keep you focused on the larger goal.

Check out the Team Chip Minute:  Goal Getting

body image

 

Body Image

Every day, we are inundated with over 3000 messages via mass marketing in our society.  The sole purpose of these messages is to make us feel discontent, and unhappy with what we have, who we are, and how we look.   We are made to feel like we NEED to go out and buy the next best diet book, gadget, brand of clothing.  We are made to feel that whatever IT is will be the secret to our own true personal happiness.

The video above is incredible, because it shows how someone off the street can be transformed with lighting, make-up, and a little computer “nip and tuck”.   Did you realize what really goes on behind the scenes?

I have vivid memories of my mom telling me that “beauty is only skin deep” and those words resonate deeply in my heart and mind.  Beauty begins with a strong inner confidence and HIGH SELF ESTEEM.  So where does that come from?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary says self-esteem is “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself: self-respect”.   “Satisfaction in one self”, isn’t this exactly opposite of what those 3000 ads are trying to tell us?

Body Image, self-esteem, self-confidence:  they are related!  First we all have to know that we have the “right” to be here just like the person next us.  We are all here for a reason; it may be beyond our comprehension, but a purpose none the less.  Just realizing, digesting, and understanding this alone should begin to boost your esteem.

We regularly encourage people to get into something, anything that makes them feel good about themselves.  For us, we love to workout.  We do Tae Kwon Do, weigh training, and all sorts of cross training to compliment our martial arts.  This helps us to stay in shape, have energy, and just all around enjoy life.  For you it might be quilting, an exercise bike, painting, or any range of things that give you the opportunity to be told, “wow, that’s (you are) awesome!”  When people compliment you, something inside begins to happen.  You begin to believe it!  When you believe it, feel it, taste it, and REFLECT IT your self-esteem begins to grow, and you begin to become connected to your “purpose”.   Then, your productivity improves, happiness improves, and your relationships improve.

So, don’t become drug down by the hype that you have to look like the airbrushed, computer modified super model on the cover of that magazine at the checkout line.  Ignore the negative messages and get busy doing something that makes you feel great about YOU!  You ARE unique.  You ARE special.  KNOW it!

Hear more about what Chip Townsend has to say about Body Image in the Team Chip Minute below.

competition

Competition

Sometimes you hear someone described as competitive.  You hear things like, “wow, they are just really competitive.”  Generally it isn’t always the most flattering comment.  Oftentimes, it’s actually either intended as an insult or a way for the person who was just defeated to mentally “justify” their “loss”.

So what is wrong with a little competition?   You’ll hear those against competition site that it leads to poor self esteem, by awarding the winner, and clearly labeling the loser.  I have to adamantly disagree.

Competition in a sense is an activity that simulates life.  In life, sometimes we come out on top (the winner), but oftentimes we don’t.  Competition teaches us that if we want to “win”, we have to pull out our best.  To succeed in competition, we have to plan, prepare, and then DO the work to reach the goal.  Isn’t that just like life?

Life really is one big competition.  To be successful, we plan, we prepare, and we train (mentally and physically).  We put in the time, the effort, and go for it.  But here’s the other lesson that we learn from competition:  when we don’t “win”… we didn’t lose!

What do I mean by that?  In competition, the winner is the one that receives the big gold medal.  It’s the same way in life right?  The winners in life drive the big cars, and live in the fancy homes, right?  Not necessarily.  In the media we hear words like “overnight success”.  Let me tell you that study after study reveals that there is no such thing.

One of the areas you see this in is professional sports.  You’ll see a boxer come out of nowhere, and dominate the field.  Their PROFESSIONAL record may be non-existent, but what about their “unseen”, “unreported” amateur record?  You know, the record from the past ten years of hard work, passion, and  drive where they LOST 70% of their competitions prior to be classified as a “pro”.  You see, successful people in ALL areas of life have to learn to deal with failure (losses).  The thing that separates those on top from those that make the next episode of “Where Are They Now” is the ability to pick themselves up from a loss, and LEARN.

Champion is a word that typically depicts the overall winner.  We think you need to reevaluate this perception.  A champion in our minds is someone that leaves nothing on the table.  A champion puts in the hours, the training, the studying, everything.  Then when it’s time to compete, they are ready; nothing left on the table.  When you’re competing in life, second-guessing and regrets do nothing to propel you forward.  What moves you forward is knowing that you have done your part to continually improve.  And when the time came, you gave it your all…NO REGRETS.

But now, what if after all of the training, preparation, and effort, you don’t win?  Now you’re a loser right?  Well, only if you choose to be.  Or, you can look back and evaluate what you’ve learned from the loss.  EVERY loss is an opportunity to learn.  It’s funny, most parents would tell a child that fell off their bike to dust off and get back on, and try again.  They wouldn’t put a big FOR SALE sign on it, and get rid of it at the first, second, or 50^th failed attempt.  They would encourage their child to get back on, and learn from their mistakes.  Boy, does that bring back some memories!

Many of us need to take some of our own advice.  Falling down doesn’t mean it’s over, it means that we’ve had an opportunity to learn.  There are countless stories of famous failures.  Thomas Edison said it quite well, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

So, don’t sell your bike!  Get up and dust off.  Life is a competition.  If you take your wins (successes) and losses (failures), and keep moving forward, you will find yourself atop the platform with the big gold medal!

And finally, when someone does say that you are “so competitive”, take it as a compliment.  One of the most powerful ways to improve is to use our peers to progress forward.  Think about it like this, how many people do you know that use the last greatest, coolest home gym for a clothes hanger?  Or, have a membership to a gym that they NEVER use.  When you surround yourself with people that have a common goal, and are sincerely working to better themselves (and even outdo you), you are able to push yourself just a little bit further today than you did yesterday.

Check out this video with some famous failures you might know….

Also check out the Team Chip Minute on Competition, filmed live at the Team Chip in-house tournament!

passion

PASSION

Defined as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling.

So what is passion?  Is passion what gets you out of bed every morning, or is it just your “obligations” that get you up?   Do you have a burning desire, or are you just walking through the motions.

We have an Instructor creed that we instructors at Team Chip Tae Kwon Do Centers recite at every meeting.  We also mentally, and periodically verbally, recite it before each class that we teach.  It reminds us why we are here.  It reminds us what our passion IS.

The Creed goes like this:

“I will teach this class like it is the most important class that I will ever teach.”

“I am courteous, patient and enthusiastic.”

“I am strong; I lead by example.”

“I empower people through the pursuit of personal martial arts excellence.”

If you’ve been around here for very long, you know that we aren’t about empty words.  We ARE about accountability, constant improvement, and dedication.  One of the things that we stress with recitations like the Instructor Creed is that the words don’t become empty.  The words must have meaning.  When we really think about it, each line defines our passion.

(1)    I will teach this class like it is the most important class I will ever teach.  Think about that.  If this was the last opportunity one of our instructors had to teach, EVER, do you think they would be lethargic and disinterested?  No way!  Would they just walk through the motions?  Absolutely not.  That’s not passion.  ATTACKING it like you have no tomorrow, that’s passion!  When you look at everything you do like “I’ve got one shot to do this right, “you see things differently.  We love the quote from Coach John Wooten that goes something like “if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

(2)    I am courteous, patient, and enthusiastic.  Enthusiasm, real enthusiasm, can’t be faked.  Its outward expression is the epitome, the embodiment of expressing passion!

(3)    I am strong; I lead by example. Passion just cannot be faked.  It is something that oftentimes observers can’t put a label on.  Leaders that lead passionately are often described as energetic and charismatic.  When you are passionate about teaching someone something, you don’t just want to talk about it (although you can for hours), you want to SHOW how to do it!   When you SHOW, you INSPIRE, and your passion becomes contagious.

(4)    I empower people through the pursuit of personal martial arts excellence.  When you see someone feel stronger, smarter, empowered by something that you have taught them; something that you are passionate about, your passion builds like a snowball.  When you see them succeed to levels that they never believed possible, your little fire keeps on burning.  It becomes an inferno!

There’s a really great quote that comes to mind when I think about passion.  It goes something like this:  “there are people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what just happened.”  If you have a passion for something, you can be among the “make things happen” group.

Your passion must be followed by ACTION.  Passion + Action = Stupendous Success!

So P.A.S.S. (Passion + Action = Stupendous Success!) on the mindset of sitting back, and watching the world go by.  Use your PASSION to ignite your ACTION, and no matter what, you’ll be a STUPENDOUS SUCCESS!

For more on Passion, watch the Team Chip Minute!

Self Control 1,2,3

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage–pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically–to say, ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside. The enemy of the ‘best’ is often the ‘good’.” – Steven Covey/em>

Self Control: 1,2,3

​Let’s address three very common indulgences or vices that test our self control on a daily basis. There are ways to say ‘no’ to these things that should be very low or completely absent from our list of priorities, by considering the bigger ‘yes’ that comes with self control.

1) Overeating: keep an apple in your pocket!
We need to understand that despite the fact that eating food is very often in conjunction with a social event, it is in itself not a social event. It has a mission, and that mission is nutrition! If we consider, each and every time we eat, what nutrition we are (or aren’t) getting from the foods we’re eating, it will cause us to reconsider our consumption. If you are unaware of the nutritional value of your food, seek help from a nutritionist, physician, or even a knowledgeable friend who has good eating habits. So, are you hungry? Or do you just feel like you should be eating based on your situation (social event, mood change, boredom, etc.). Here’s a good test: are you hungry enough to eat an apple? If an apple doesn’t appeal to you at that particular moment, then you’re probably not actually hungry.

2) Smoking: TKD time!
I recently saw a commercial for a “quit smoking” drug. About 75% of this commercial was spent listing medical disclaimers about the side effects of the drug, including several situations where DEATH was possible. Are we that lacking in self-control that we’ll risk death for the greater good of quitting smoking? Here’s an alternative. When you feel the urge to smoke a cigarette, go to a designated area for smokers. This is usually a fairly spacious spot where you can hopefully have a little room. Instead of lighting up, do the following exercises: jab punch 10x each side, jab-cross 10x each side, front stretch kick 10x each side, then jab-cross-front stretch kick 10x each side. Yes, in your work clothes. If done well, you should be breathing a bit heavier than you were when you started. You might even bust a small sweat. You’ll not be quite as good smelling as you were when you started, but not NEARLY as nasty smelling as you’d be after smoking a cigarette. Both cigarette smoking and exercise releases dopamine and endorphins in the brain associated with pleasure. I think it’s safe to say that the better choice in how to spend your 5 minute break would be a few basic tae kwon do techniques.

3) Alcohol: Laugh!
People have many different reasons they drink. These include the desire to relax, be more sociable, and get a buzz to be “happy.” If you are reading this you are either on a smartphone, tablet, PC or other means of internet access. That said, you have access to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, email etc. These are all great sources for viewing/reading items of humor. Find a funny video, read a joke. Go see a comedy. Laughter releases serotonin, immune boosting interleukins and increases oxygen saturation in the bloodstream. Research the health benefits of laughter after you watch that funny video, and you’ll realize that your brain can naturally produce chemicals for free, that some people pay to get from alcohol consumption. SO, laughter is economical AND healthy.

Ben Parra
Team Chip Instructor

self control

“Discipline is remembering what you want.”  ~David Campbell

 

So what is confidence?  In our classes, when the instructor says “CONFIDENCE”, the students respond, “I AM STRONG!”   We challenge you to remember that, especially this time of year when temptation is all around you; temptation for that second piece of pie, or just one more helping of Grandma’s mashed potatoes.

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.”  ~Bob Moawad

Self-control is not just for our children.  We expect them to keep their hands to themselves, stop wiggling, control their mouths (think before they speak), but then oftentimes, we forget about the things we need to control.  For you, it might be controlling spending.  For your neighbor, it might be avoiding the build your own sundae bar. 

Each and every one of us has areas of their lives where we want to demonstrate more control.  So what does it take to get there?  Just like goal setting, you have to take an honest look “in the mirror”.  What area for you are you struggling with self-control.  Is it that section right before you get to the register at the grocery store?  You know the one.  It has batteries, and finger nail clippers, and the latest diet pill, and travel sized tissues.  You look up and you’ve picked up one of each. 

Whatever your “area” is, you first have to honestly recognize that you struggle, and that everyone does.  You are not alone.  Then, you need to realize that you can overcome!  It sounds so simple, and even a little cliché’, but you really do have to envision yourself with control and discipline.  If you don’t believe it, no one else will.

Now make a plan.  What are you going to do to make your new-found self-control a habit?  We highly recommend writing down your goal, and then telling someone.  When you write it down, it goes from becoming a dream, to something that you feel is important.  When you write it down, it does something on YOUR inside.  When you tell someone, you now have a partner.  Even if they aren’t “partnering” with you in the literal sense, they are now an accountability partner. 

No one wants to tell their co-worker that instead of gaining 10 pounds this holiday season that you’re going to stick to a healthy diet and exercise program, and then have your co-worker find you in the break room eating all of the cupcakes!  Sometimes, all we need is a little “keep me honest” moment to get us past one temptation, and keep us on the right track.

It is very empowering to look up and realize that you have succeeded in an area that you once struggled.  It absolutely builds your confidence when you demonstrate self-control and discipline. 

 

mirror, mirror

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall?”

If you have a little princess in your house, you know the next line, “who’s the fairest of them all?”

But fairest, prettiest, that’s not what our version of Mirror, Mirror is about.  What we are talking about is your reflection.   What are you seeing REFLECTED in those around you?

Are people grumpy, negative, and just plain unpleasant when you come around?   I think back to when I was a kid, and would point my finger at someone (pointing out their obvious—to me—wrongdoing).  I also remember how my parents always reminded ME that when I pointed one finger at someone else, that three were pointing right back at me!  I had no idea what a powerful lesson that was.

So many times, we work in environments that have an incredibly negative vibe.  The atmosphere is thick with tension.  Have you ever stood back and thought about whether or not you are contributing to, or are  at odds against the negativity?

Do you find yourself wondering why the cashier at the grocery store is such a grouch, why the guy that does your lawn never does a thorough job, and why basically everything you do is accompanied by serious drama…

The next time you want to figuratively “point the finger” at someone for their bad behavior, take a look at yourself.  What are you projecting?  The next time you have a waitress or waiter that seems more put out, than interested in a tip, instead of reflecting that negativity right back, CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE (see our past blog), and be the one customer that brightens THEIR day.

Think of it this way, you have NO idea what they’ve been through today.  It’s your turn to NOT be a negative person.

It is amazing how this can completely change your day.  You will find that that sacker in the grocery store wants to GO AND GET the item you forgot (instead of pointing you to aisle 49).  All of the sudden, that grumpy co-worker, is telling you about their child’s recent success; instead of listing the countless reasons they are late for work.

Finally, when you are sure that you are doing your part to be a ray of sunshine instead of a Johnny Rain-cloud, you find that even when others to reciprocate, you feel good about your attitude.  You shrug off their negativity, rather than feeding off of it.

pros and cons

 

Pros and Cons

All students, adults probably as much if not more than kids, go through ups and downs. This is the pattern of life. For children they have only their parents and instructors to depend on as far as support and making good decisions. When a kid goes through a tough spot in life (training), it is the parent’s job to sit with them, and draw that “line down the center of the paper” and start looking at benefits (short, mid and long term) versus non-benefits.

Typically the benefits side is huge in comparison, and it helps to see that.  By making the “list”, you can step away and assess your progress. You need to hang in there, it will be worth it.  Here’s our list of just a few of the “pros” that accompany martial arts training.

Benefits: The PROS
-Improved mental clarity.
-Improved focus.
-Growth of physical and mental strength.
-Improved flexibility.
-Improved speed.
-Learning lifelong self defense skills.
-Learning an individual life long skill (and you don’t need a team, no season, no age limit…).
-Growth of confidence.
-Tons of life skill reinforcement.

The Benefit list can really go on and on.  Respect, courtesy, discipline, dedication, goal setting and achieving, environment of success, family atmosphere…
Non-benefits: The CONS
-I get sore.   (Or, is it a benefit, as it means that I’m getting stronger?)
-I have to make time to go.  (Or, is this a benefit because it is teaching me to prioritize my time?)
-I fall down at times.  (Again, is this a benefit since we learn when we fall?)
-I get corrected.   (You guessed it.  This is really a benefit.  One of the biggest assets of any leader is the ability to receive feedback, which is learned when receiving correction.)

See, I’m struggling to come up with what the CONS are!

Then again, maybe it’s just my PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) kicking in.  There again, is that really a bad thing?  Martial arts benefit adults, and children beyond the obvious self defense aspects.  But don’t take that part for granted.  When faced with a self defense, self preservation situation, martial arts provides individuals with the tools to protect yourself, and the confidence to use them.

 

 

you choose

You Choose

“Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” – Unknown

Are you a self-fulfilling prophecy? Do you start out your day at 6am saying things like… “today is starting off just awful”… and you have proof:
The alarm didn’t go off, the toddler wet the bed, the milk jug is empty, the kinder-gardener REFUSES to put her hair up, the dog had an “accident” on your clean laundry pile, your hairspray is empty, the toilet won’t flush… I could keep going, but does this sound like a typical morning at your house?

Then you think “it’s going to be one of those days….”  Does your Twitter feed read more like a sob story?  If the “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” in your Facebook Status instantly translated itself, would it be simply “whining”?  (Yes, I said that!)

Come on guys! Take 2 minutes and think back to all of the times you started out your day that way:  negative, expecting the worst, defeated.  Did it turn out awesome? Probably not.

If you have a day where you have tons to do, and no time to do it… be thankful. I’m reading a story right now about a guy that spent 11.5 months VERTICAL in a hospital bed.  He was basically crushed in an automobile accident.  Among other extensive injuries, he literally lost (they never found it) 4” from his femur.  They had to “regrow” it.  I bet he would have loved to have had a busy, hectic, stress-filled day.  He would have given just about anything to get out of that bed and not have to stare at the ceiling!

The other day I attended the Open House at my daughter’s middle school.  The event started off with a quick meeting, and then all of the parents basically had approximately 5-10 minute “class meetings”, to go through the entire day of class rotations for their children.  Earlier in the day, my daughter mentioned that one of her teachers probably wouldn’t be there that night.  She has had a particularly rough time.  Furthermore, she was dealt some terrible news earlier in the school day.  See if her situation changes your mind about yours:

At the end of the school year, the teacher found out that her husband has leukemia.  While we all traveled, went to the lake, and hung out at the pool, the teacher and her husband spent 4 months in the hospital.  While in the hospital, the teacher’s sister-in-law (her husband’s sister), was in the room across the hall in the Oncology unit.  She had pancreatic cancer.  She passed away over the weekend (the Open House I attended was on a Tuesday, 2 days after her the death of the teacher’s sister-in-law).  But wait, just when you think it couldn’t get any worse…  The teacher’s daughter was one of the many who visited family over the Labor Day weekend.  She had been in town visiting the teacher.  However, when she returned home, there was NOTHING left.  Her house, and everything in it, burned to the ground in one of the many Texas wildfires.

What absolutely amazed, blessed, and inspired me was the attitude that this teacher displayed at the Open House.  Despite all of the “things” going on in her life, SHE WAS THERE!  She was all smiles, bragged on the kids and stated how much she was loving being back to “normal”.  She was so positive, and so strong.  She is looking devastation in the face, and moving forward.  Attacking each day with the “How can I?” attitude, rather than the “Can I?”  One word changes your whole outlook!

So tomorrow morning, when the cat pukes in your shoe, be glad you have more than one pair of shoes.  When the orange juice jug is empty, be thankful that you have running water at your disposal, and have a glass of water.  When your sink backs up, be happy you have indoor plumbing.  I challenge you to step back and look at the wonderful things you do have, and CHOOSE to make tomorrow a great day, no matter what!

“The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.” -Martha Washington

For more on Martha Washington, check out the blog:  Be Happy.