be happy

“I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” – Martha Washington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty powerful words from a wealthy woman, who ended up being the FIRST, First Lady.  What disappointments could she have possibly had going on in HER life to overcome.  Sometimes we see quotes like the one above, and eventhough the message is great, and we “get it”, we can think to ourselves, that “things were different back then, they didn’t have the same stress we do today.”   See if you would want to trade places with her:

1.  She had 4 children.

2.  Her son, Daniel, died at the age of 3.

3.  Her daughter, Frances, died when he was 4.

4.  Her first husband, Daniel Custis, died that same year.

5.  Her oldest daughter, Martha, died from a siezure at age 18.

6.  Her son, John, died during military service as a young adult.

Puts a new light on choosing to be happy, doesn’t it?

Yes, it takes a conscious effort to CHOOSE to be happy, grateful, and content. 

The following are some quotes and notes from three of our favorite books:  Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, Fish! Philosophy, and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,  Stephen Covey

“Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
-Viktor Frankl

Dr. Viktor E. Frankl spent nearly three years in Nazi concentration camps where his wife and parents were executed. He and his sister were the only survivors in his family.

An educated man with hopes and dreams to pursue a life of success, he found himself treated like an animal facing the possibility of torture, execution or starvation at any moment. Literally stripped of every material possession he owned, he watched friends, family and strangers die: some to execution and others perished after losing their will to live.

Yet, while control of his physical life was completely taken from him, he maintained the will to live with purpose and intention. He had no choice; he knew that given the circumstances under which he was forced to live, if he lost his will, he would die, and without a second thought, his body would be tossed onto a pile of other corpses in a ditch.  Frankl, after having survived inconceivable horror, survived and lived on to be an inspiration to millions.

FISH! Practices Choose Your AttitudeMost of us believe our attitudes are caused directly by outside influences like unpleasant experiences or negative people. But while external pressures may trigger our feelings, we are the ones wearing those feelings like a suit of clothes. We can either be subservient to external events, few of which we have any control over, or we can take charge of our own response.   From 7 Habits:

Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power–you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language–I can’t, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do–they have no choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 1902, Martha Washington became the first American woman to be honored on a U.S. postage stamp.